Friendship Ties

Google defines friendship as people who like each other and enjoy each other’s company.
Well, we all know friendship is much more than that.

Friendship is a mutual feeling between two individuals who happen to cross paths on this short, unpredictable, God-given journey to share disappointments with, laughs at the dissatisfaction that they wish could be satisfied at the snap of their fingers, to make memories and look back at their stupidity, ten, twenty years to come, to be each other’s soft pillow to land once hit by the world’s cruelty, to be each other’s confidant, listen to each other without judgment on failures and wrong decisions made intentionally or unintentionally.

But the harsh reality is… It takes a Hella long time to get that true friend who has your best interest at heart. Who won’t secretly knock you down as you work your way through the struggles, Who will act stupid with you and have to retrieve the reputation when kingdom home together.

They say that a stranger can be a more loyal friend than the friend you’ve always thought you had since birth. The advice I once received from a girl I once knew, “live your life as though you have No one in this world.” which translates to self-reliance above all.

Consulting friends before making decisions can lead to the results which benefit them through you. We always have answers of the problem at hand at the first thought of it and consulting friends is only a way to justify the decision that our very able instincts have already chosen. This will guarantee complete satisfaction in the decisions that were not influenced by peers and complete disappointments on oneself on the wrong decisions made solely. With time given, frazzled out friendships leave us with dilapidated situations that were enabled by our “consultants.”

Good days bring joyous moments while rocky days leave us out in the rainstorms. Bench-marking is measured by the thickness of our wallets once that promotion has fattened it, once you become everyone’s free ride, when you are polished enough to be an accessory or when you pick tab at the bar.

Loneliness sets in without a knock on the door expecting accommodation in your space once you lose that job, Once HE leaves, when the car is repossessed, During your grieving period when illness strikes.

Today’s society is contaminated by this ideology that one must have a #BFF, so one can upload photographs on the gram #friendshipgoals or better yet #squad. These being the groups of ladies who you run around with, in and out of bars, road trips, who you take to upcountry to show off with as your “accomplishments” to onlooking villagers that will forget you immediately you loud music Subarus vacate your dilapidated mud houses you let your parent live in as you shout from uptown bars that u only do fine whiskeys.

Once I can’t afford that tab, when I can’t afford to hop in men’s cars with you for a ‘road trip’ or ‘adventure’, once am no longer able to dress like a slut to gain mens’ attention in clubs, will I still be a member of your #squad?

The argument is that when one skips this stage, they are bound to come back for it at an older age. But resonate with what is realistic and bringing you closer to your goals and purpose in life.

Life is a journey.. we all need a shoulder to lean on, and keep us sane in our moments of insanity, someone to show a genuine interest in what’s going on in your life, what you have to say, and how you think and feel. Accept you for who you are, listen to you attentively without judging you, telling you how to think or feel, or trying to change the subject. Feel comfortable sharing things about themselves with you

---

Friendship evaluation 101

We are not throwing friendships off the cliff just yet, we have to recognize which friendships are worth salvaging or halting. Genuine friendships are True friendships respect values, struggles, goals, and interests.

• Do they Swing the conversations to concentrate only on themselves
• Dot they only see you vent about their frustrations?
• Do they constantly put you down by harshly criticizing you
• Do they only look to compete with you instead of uplifting themselves so we can win together?
• Do you trust them not to betray your trust
• Do they show genuine concerns about, Do they ask questions about you
• Do they give full attention toward you
• Do they only call you only during their bad times or do u also celebrate with you?
  

  ---

How to find new friends physically

• Attending and becoming a loyal member of the church
• Make an effort with your colleagues
• Volunteering gives you opportunities to meet people who have as great of heart as you help others in the community.
• Enroll in seminars, conferences, searching for events close to you such as cultural events
• Join a class where you can connect with people with the same interests.
• Re- explore your community, learn about new things that you have always taken for granted in your immediate surroundings.
• Find a way to incorporate your daily activities by getting to know new people and be productive simultaneously