For generations, African culture has captivated the Western world with its depth, beauty, and spirit. Across the continent, many continue to hold tightly to the traditions and values passed down through their forefathers, a quiet, powerful way of honoring identity, history, and belonging. Yet while many of these traditions are deeply meaningful, woven with music, connection, and wisdom, others were created to enforce control, keeping community members in line. As we navigate healing and growth, we must pause and ask ourselves: which traditions uplift, and which ones confine?
Born by newlyweds, father passed on just two weeks after her birth. being a young and a new mom, her mum had nothing but her guts, her wits and her instincts to fend, protect and nature this precious girl. As we have all heard of a woman’s strength, she would put in all she had into pouring out in her daughter.As fate would have it, time, nature, and culture denied her the joy of watching her daughter grow into the remarkable woman she was destined to become. Unspoken cultural missteps complex and unforgiving would soon catch up with her, just as grief from her husband’s passing still lingered.
As is often the case in many African communities, she was placed in the care of her able relatives after her parents’ passing. Though they were willing to provide for her, resources told a different story. The only viable option became returning her to the rural village — the very place where her parents now rested six feet under. With no mother or father to guide her, she would attend school only when her relatives, and at times the community, could afford to support her education.
The universe has its own quiet magic, often working in ways we may never fully understand. For this young girl, it seemed as though favor walked beside her subtle, but undeniable. In a village where hardship was the norm, there were moments in her life that stood out, moments that couldn’t quite be explained. And when the chance for a better life finally appeared, it was as if the universe had been preparing her all along shaping her spirit, steadying her heart, and quietly leading her to that very moment. She was offered tuition which had been lacking.
When school holidays came around, and the laughter of children echoed as they left for home, she remained behind. Her community, though not unkind, simply couldn’t manage the cost of having her home during those breaks. And so, her boarding school became a quiet shelter a place where she lingered long after the others had gone. In those still moments, she sat with solitude touched by absence, perhaps even the ache of being overlooked. While others found joy in reunion, she learned early how to hold herself together, quietly, gently, and alone. The sounds of laughter and the scent of home cooked meals wafting through the air during school holidays would often bring her to tears. Alone in her room, she would hug her pillow tightly, trying to stifle the ache in her chest, crying herself to sleep. It was a sorrowful reality she wouldn’t wish upon anyone a silent ache that few could truly understand.
As her time at university drew to a close, there was no family waiting at the gates. No one to carry her bags, wrap her in a proud embrace, or capture the joy of her in her graduation gown, draped in the shiny neck pieces that mark this cherished rite of passage. She stood alone in that moment but not empty. Because, as only the universe can do, it had already set something in motion. While others waited and wondered about the next step, she had a job offer in hand steady, waiting, ready. A job. A lifeline. A new beginning. It was more than just employment; it was the thread that kept her going when the privileges of student life had fallen away. In the silence of her graduation day, the universe whispered: she was not forgotten.
Now, she lives a life that is entirely her own a world she has shaped with her own hands. Her holidays, once filled with longing, are now spent in peaceful solitude, surrounded by the quiet abundance she’s built for herself. She no longer yearns for what was missing; instead, she walks with her head held high, fully aware that she turned life’s bitter lemons into the finest lemonade. With pride and softness in her voice, she can say she overcame one of life’s greatest hurdles one that might have broken others. But not her. She survived. She rose.
In the end, it was culture that took her parents from her not just fate, but deeply rooted traditions that chose custom over compassion. And so, she was left to navigate life alone, bearing a weight no child should ever have to carry. When communities cling tightly to rituals at the cost of human lives, it is the innocent who suffer the most. The very traditions that claimed her protectors offered her no shelter, no comfort. And in their silence, they failed to nurture the child they had left behind a child who needed not rules, but love.
In the end, she didn’t just survive, she became everything she was never given.
Question: What was your whisper of strength?
Her: Knowing I have no one else to fall back on, if I were to pass away today, it would be my colleagues who’d lay me to rest (as she wiped away a teardrop or two).
Question: How do you feel about the whole situation your experience?
Her: I carry a deep bitterness about losing my parents. It’s hard not to question why they brought me into this world, only to leave me to face it all alone.
Question: What are you grateful for?
Her: I’ve come to know this for sure — that favor follows me in all I do. Even in my lowest moments, when everything seems uncertain, the universe still finds a way to realign itself in my favor. I’ve seen it unfold more times than I can count.
Question: Any parting word?
Her: I have everything i need to succeed. My journey. If I’ve made it through everything I’ve faced, then I know in my heart there’s nothing ahead I cannot overcome.
A.J
A Whisper from the Writer
To the young lady in this story and to every young woman walking through pain in silence, wondering if it will ever get better please know this: You are not broken. You are becoming. Even when life strips you of everything familiar, there is still something unshakable within you. Let the world doubt, but don’t you ever stop believing in the quiet power of your becoming. You were never meant to just survive you were born to rise, to bloom, and to shine on your own terms. Hold on. Your story isn’t over yet, it’s only beginning.
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