In the African communal living context, it’s common for families to exhibit unique traits that distinguish them from one another, even across different regions. Homes are typically classified based on their financial status or the possessions brought in by their owners compared to yours.
Your homestead might be known as the affluent family, revered by other households whenever one of you passes by—the epitome of wealth that every family aspires to attain. The following family might represent the typical household, where members hold average jobs and live with average standards. Another family nearby could be notorious for its heavy drinkers and disruptive behavior, known for their lively gatherings which often end with little good to be said. Across the street, there might be a family plagued by poverty, where children trek to school with worn out hand-me-downs and cracked feet so severe that a coin could be hidden in the cracks. Yet, everyone shares a common fear of the house downhill, rumored to be inhabited by a witch. It’s a dwelling never to be directly pointed at, one hurried past with no whistle, and never leisurely strolled by.
We all knew that boy who was full of joy and innocence, always eager to spend time anywhere but his own home. Only he knew why he preferred other households, where, despite often being given errands to run, he was provided with basic necessities. He received hand-me-downs in perfect condition from the neighbor’s son, a piece of bread at breakfast, and occasionally, he was even allowed to join them on outings.
We all knew the girl whom the community had little faith in, expecting nothing more from her than to finish primary education and then marry off. Misunderstanding her curiosity and need for love, they wrongly labeled her as an attention-seeking delinquent who would ruin not only her own life but also the lives of those around her. They would whisper quietly behind her back and laugh openly at her, disguising their mockery with laughter in her presence. Meanwhile, her peers’ parents privately warned their children to steer clear of her.
Now you see, the power of being genuine and true to oneself, regardless of how others treat you, stems from the innocence one carries through life. Often, children are unaware of why those around them behave the way they do, especially when faced with varying financial struggles and complex family dynamics.
God grants the disadvantaged the ability to see opportunities that the advantaged often overlook. They are endowed with extraordinary strength to work a little harder. They become visionaries, seeing a future that is unimaginable to others. Their dreams bring hope, and they cling to the hope to forge their own paths shape their destinies and be the first in their families do so. Some might even label them delusional.
In hindsight, I realize the truth in the saying that God only gives you what you can handle. The young boy now owns his own firm, where villagers come seeking employment for their children and grandchildren. He has become the poster boy for success. Some of the families who were once affluent seek advice on matters they themselves struggle to comprehend, offering him a seat at their table as an equal when he no longer seeks merely a seat.
If he hadn’t endured a journey that many deemed embarrassing, he wouldn’t have developed the ambition to shape his future by holding onto the values instilled in him by his poverty-stricken family. He would not have realized that his past does not define his success.
I was one of those children dealing with complex family dynamics. From the outside, it might have seemed like I had everything, but as the saying goes, still waters run deep.
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